Family Day

Yesterday was a monumental anniversary. A year ago we went to the SF Airport a married couple and returned home a family. Tee has been with us for a year and a day now. Time is flying by so quickly. Before his arrival it felt like every single day was 2 and a half. There was tension, stress, tears, fears, illness, etc. Now that he is here there are still a few of those... ;-) .... but we are absolutely blessed beyond measure.

Yesterday Jamie and I just looked at him for a long period of time and had the same thought at the exact same time... We couldn't have gotten a better blessing from above. Tears just came into my eyes out of no where. God works in mysterious ways. We spent 5 years being very angry at our turn of events. We questioned God's will and plan. After all, we were good people, did many things for others, tried to live the best Christian life that we could. All we ever wanted was to have children that we could raise to be good kids, and more importantly, have that sense of family that 3 Golden Retrievers just didn't fulfill. We were confused, beaten, and emotionally crippled at the face of infertility. If we could only go back and give God the trust and faith that we so selfishly took away from Him.... we would.

No, I didn't give birth to this child. If I could've I would've. I will say this about that though....

***When you get that call for referral you instantly go into a 3 month uncomfortable labor until the next phone call which is when they tell you your child is ready to come over. That call would totally mark the breaking of the water. I was in a wedding during that phase of my delivery last year. I can't believe I held it together at all. Sorry Karen.

***THEN... you go into the delivery phase when you wait until that plane lands safely and out walks the Korean escort with your beautiful baby...who you, NEVER believed fully, would EVER be placed in your arms.

***The tears of joy and relief are so overwhelming, you forget who you are and the struggles that you had encountered.

(Doesn't that sound like a real birth to you???) It may be the closest thing that I ever come to an actual childbirth.... and I am completely satisfied with that.

When I look at Teegan and get that "motherly" warm and fuzzy feeling inside, I only have God to thank for that..... and a courageous woman who, had it not been for her ultimate sacrifice, I would not be a mother today.

So, I guess, the lesson of the day kids is this.... Sometimes we are dealt things that we can't handle or think we can't deal with. In the grand scheme of things there is a plan. We are not "all knowing" for most of the duration of said plan. This makes said plan a mystery and sometimes, in the words of Red Foreman when talking to his son about infidelity issues, VERY UNPLEASANT! (That episode was on this week.) That is why we need to have faith in ourselves, our family, friends, and most importantly our futures....no matter how tough it may get. Don't lose your 6th, 7th and 8th senses.... FAITH~HOPE~LOVE