As I get ready for bed tonight I have mixed emotions. It has been a very interesting weekend to say the least. On Saturday I had the opportunity to have Justice, our littlest golden retriever, go spend the afternoon with a family who is really wanting a dog. They live on a acreage, have two boys and a girl all in elementary school, and are very nice people. Well, they LOVE her and have decided to keep her.
We acquired Justice after she was given to us from the breeder where we got our oldest dog, Liberty. She was failing to thrive due to an abcess on the top of her head. She was involved in a fight within the litter. Another pup scratched her head and she got a nasty infection. They had to drain it several times. Then she wouldn't eat and didn't gain weight. The breeder was going to put her down and I just couldn't stand for that. She was too cute and perfect for that. So, we ended up with a 3rd dog that we never anticipated.
Over the past year an a half she has grown and developed. She topped out at 36 pounds which is tiny for a golden. She had loads and loads of energy and kept the other two dogs on their toes. There was also a destructive side to her. She had her way of getting into mischief. However, when you found out the things she was doing, she had this look about her that just made you shake your head and smile.
Ever since Teegan got home in September we have felt that we just have too many "people" living in our house. We just lost all of our "dog time" after he arrived. I feel really guilty about that. In fact, it eats at me constantly. The older two are okay because they got the intensive love and training from us before we became parents. Justice on the other hand has missed out on a lot of TLC. We knew that something had to be done. When this couple talked with me about wanting a dog and I suggested they try out Justice I knew it was the right thing.
I am thrilled, absolutely thrilled, that she is at a home where she is the center of attention and has a lot of room to run. I am however very saddened by her absence. When I woke up this morning I felt like a piece of my heart was missing and also had a pit in my stomach. Tears have rolled down my cheeks several times today, Jamie's too.
She was my "Bitsy-Baby" and got me through the agonizing wait for our adoption to come through. In fact, she was our baby for a year before Teegan arrived. I don't know how I would've gotten through that wait without her. After Teegan arrived though there just wasn't enough time in the day to meet everyone's needs. Unfortunately, that meant that the dogs, especially Justice, had to go without attention. This led to Justice being very naughty and having too much stored energy.
Ug, it is amazing how a creature, such as a dog, can get into our hearts as deep as they do. You may not be a dog lover, perhaps a cat lover, and can relate. I know what we did is what is best for Justice and for us. I just wish that it was easier, and that hole in my heart would seal over. Hopefully it will in the coming days or weeks.
Godspeed Justice. I hope that your new life holds everything that we couldn't give you. May your days be long and happy with your new family. We loved you enough to save your life after you were born with all of your trauma and drama in your litter. Now we are giving you a better life with your new family.
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